What’s the difference between South African, Indian, English and Australian cricket?
When a South African player, Faf du Plessis, gets nicked for ball tampering (twice) he is made captain. When Sachin Tendulkar does it he remains a demigod. England’s Mike Atherton became a few thousand quid poorer. In Australia we assemble an ugly mob who bay for the blood of our cricketers and get to work with the four-by-two and a packet of roofing nails.
These distinctions offer an unusual look at national identity. Put succinctly, Australians lost their minds and their judgment over a piece of tape, some pitch dirt and a cricket ball.
I’m not sure I would refer to what happened at Cape Town between 2.00pm and 2.42pm local time as cheating. It’s an unhelpful term given approximately 99 per cent of Australians don’t understand the vagaries of reverse swing and how a cricket ball tampered with or not may suddenly start swinging around corners or stubbornly refuse to shift one millimetre off its trajectory.
It was not cheating by any legal definition. Broadly speaking, common law defines cheating as a contrived act set to deny people of proprietary rights. In Australia, where criminal law refers to cheating, it usually falls into the category of obtaining financial benefit by an act of deception. In the UK, where laws for cheating on the sporting field were brought in recently and used in the prosecution of Pakistan cricketers, Salman Butt and Mohammad Asif, Smith and Co.’s actions would not, by definition, rouse the interest of the plod.
When madness abounds, it is sensible to return to some measure of sanity by using the terms the rules stipulate. It was a code violation grade two (of four with four being the most serious).
Full column here.
I think a lot of rain is required.
No, no. Last week we had one period where we got 100ml in one hour. Nearly 19 years up here and I’ve never see it rain that hard. We’re fine.
If you’re talking South Africa, they need a deluge. Particularly in Cape Town where my step-daughter lives.
Yup, talking SA. Good for our cricket and good for the locals. I heard Tully got 500ml at some stage!! That’s a deluge.
Had to cancel my Tuesday night class as the rivers were over the highway in parts of the area.
Good news Milton, our dear friend Mr Baptiste tells us in 5 years the World will experience huge floods the like never seen due to AGW. Strewth hope my Kimmie Jong un Bomb Shelter doesn’t flood. Cheers
That was 12 months ago.
4 years to go.
Trivalve, re your comment below, “I’d like to see some of the invective pointed at Matthew Guy and these clowns who snubbed their noses at the pair convention”, let me point out an inconvenient truth:
Crossbencher Rachel Carling-Jenkins, an Australian Conservatives MP, was absent from parliament due to illness, and the government appeared to have the numbers to push the bill through. Under normal circumstances, where an opposing MP is unexpectedly indisposed, the other side will offer a pair. In this case Daniel Andrews saw the chance to push through the so-called “fire services reform bill” and didn’t offer a pair. In fact he went further and forced the parliament to sit on Good Friday. This had never happened before in the history of the Victorian parliament.
So, yes – the Liberals played a down-low dirty trick but they didn’t lower the bar. The bar was lowered by Daniel Andrews. The Libs just followed him down.
The premier has declared the political equivalent of total war in the cause of Peter Marshall and the UFU. There are no civilians, there are no innocent bystanders. He will kill off anyone to win this. He has sacrificed his own Minister, Jane Garrett; he has sacrificed chief officers of the MFB and the CFA and the CFA board to win this fight.
What I want to know, as a Victorian and a CFA volunteer, is why? What does Peter Marshall have over Daniel Andrews that he will burn his own government to the ground to prevent it from becoming public?
Ok, didn’t know all that.
That’s always been my big question. How the hell can Andrews have such a grudge against what most Aussies see as one of our finest volunteer institutions? I know unions dislike volunteers in general, as they see them replacing paid workers, but something else is happening in Vic.
No-one dislikes the CFA as far as I know. I don’t understand what Andrews is doing but he must owe someone something.
I still think the dirty trick with the pairs is very poor though. How unlike the conservatives to break traditions!
Honestly, I don’t think the Premier is personally anti-CFA. There’s no reason he would be. But he is most definitely pro-UFU to a degree that defies any logic or political nous.
It’s not just the 35,000-odd volunteers that have been alienated – it’s their friends and families and communities. Now, to be sure a lot of those people wouldn’t be natural Labor voters anyway but a fair few are and no professional politician will deliberately burn potentially hundreds of thousands of votes without very good political reasons. (Unless they’re Hillary Clinton and just not very bright).
That’s why I think Peter Marshall has some stinky big secret about Andrews: the Premier has done the numbers and figured out he has more to lose from not fighting to the death for Marshall than by doing so.
Personally I wouldn’t buy a used car off one Dan Andrews, not even a used car jack actually. Something is very wrong with Vic politics methinks, stating the bleeding obvious I know..
Come the revolution….wonder if the UFU will put out the fires that will be lit under the Vic parliament…..arians arses.
I thought it was really funny TBLS! Andrews hoisted on his own petard!
Knowing volunteer fire fighters as I do (including you now TBLS) I can’t imagine what Dan Andrews is trying to achieve here either. Very strange….
The independent MP did NOT ask for a pair as is the convention.
Welcome back Dismayed. All you have to do is keep a civil tongue in your head and not run with the constant cut and paste stuff. Trust me. No surprises.
Probably because she didn’t expect Despot Dan to force a Good Friday sitting to capitalise on the situation.
Exactly TBLS. It was Dan who tried to pull the swifty but they were on to it. Really funny!
That’s true Dismayed and I think the two Liberal MPs went against established convention. But I’m still confused as to what Daniel Andrews is trying to achieve.
Welcome back btw
BRADMAN…this hack has written one of the best pieces on the Tampa (ing)
https://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/sport/2018/03/31/the-reality-australian-crickets-boor-war/15224148006026
I have neva seen so many penalties given in the NRL and the weekend is not ova yet Bald!!
Its on again this Easter Monday, Mr Insider, and of course I refer to the prestigious Stawell Gift foot race over 120m in Victoria. Victorian Matt Rizzo is in with a big chance of claiming back-to-back Stawell Gift victories. If Julian Assange could dash the 120m as fast as this the London Bobbies would have no hope of catching him, alas his ‘training facilities a “wee cramped”. Rumours that POTUS Trump would be lining up against Kimmie Jong un sadly have been ill founded.
https://tinyurl.com/y9zxzm4g
I sincerely hope this latest sportsmans’ “shocking error of judgement” is not a harbinger signalling the beginning of a longer term trend of impairment to the otherwise unsullied soul of our national psyche. Especially given that the latest cricket ball tampering caper follows hot on the heels of the necessity to curtail politicians’ office bonking, resulting from Barnaby’s morality tampering.
I read via the socialite Taki, that if Trump and Kimmie meet it will be in Kazakhstan!
Blues better in 3rd but a bit sloppy.
We are all waiting for the big event Milton, many venues being spoken of but after big boy Kimmie’s trip to China last week methinks China might be a favourite. Then again your source Taki might be right on the money. Cheers
Due to security reasons I wouldn’t be surprised if we only heard of the event after it happened, like Kim in China.
With Trump involved? It will be carried live on all networks. He knows how to sell.
Panmunjeom is my bet.
Kazakhstan? Maybe on board MH370?
JacvkSprat says:
MARCH 31, 2018 AT 12:34 AM
Correct as usual. Warner and Cameron Bankrupt are wise in collecting their thoughts on the Tampa (ing) thing, We want to know the truth before the book and series is made. The truth is simple….we just need Warner to tell it…. many more than 3 people knew about this plot. The dressing room is small where the plot was hatched during lunch; small huddles draw attention-are you trying to tell me this one didn’t? As the ball was passed around the field any dumbo could detect noticeable changes in it. Those who benefit most, the bowlers, for sure knew all about this-all of them. The Leadership Team…..that sez it all Bald. Lehman would have to be in the Leadership Team. Sad Cafe.
“Cameron Bankrupt” ??
Enough already BASSMAN of these purile, sniper’s alley sobriquets of yours!
Following Bancroft’s sincere public admissions, just which part of his persona now remains devoid of decency?
Agree
Me too. I think we’ve moved on Bassy! 😊
yer right bman….dammit
Sorry all….just seemed appropriate re his potential loss of wages/sponsors….Sad Cafe
PS Good to see Sayers get a couple. I thought he looked pretty good. Dismayed will be pleased.
Re your previous, Stokes is facing trial so mod may have thought it a bit risky.
It was this Ben:
“One was reminded this last week of the conference five years ago where CA’s commercial chief Ben Amarfio argued that controversy in sport was not a problem — it could even be advantageous.
Citing rights deals signed by the Australian Football League and National Rugby League amid cycles of negative publicity about drugs, violence and corruption, Amarfio argued that “noise” in “the media” actually created “a lot more interest in your brand and your sport” by generating “a lot of discussion and debate”.”
I thought Sayers bowled up and down line and length crap with no pace. You can’t bowl that and not get carted. Just watch from here.
Well, I wasn’t watching all night and what I saw looked pretty tidy for a debutant in an difficult, probably unprecedented situation. A test to be sure. Since then the batting has proved brittle but who expected the team to fire on cylinders?
Who is he? I have never heard of him.
Highest wicket taker in domestic cricket for the last 5 years.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/content/player/261230.html
35 overs 2 for 78. 2.2 per over. Not carted. Down on pace by about at least 10/15 km/h on how he bowls in Aus. Beat the bat consistently. Looked like he was given a job a did it.
I only saw a few of his early overs and he didn’t impress me much. No lateral movement for a start. You are correct though his figures turned out pretty well. I’d like to see him up the pace a bit and get some more movement.
Good piece by Gideon Haigh in the mag. Left a comment that they canned. For why? This was it roughly:
During the recent Ashes there was a competition to win a trip to the next Ashes. It was on the big screen in everyone’s faces ( the opposition included) and accompanied by PA announcements. Enter by using the hashtag #BeatEngland. All class. I didn’t like it and it’s straight from CA, not the team.
I added that Ben Whatsis the money man should be given his marching orders. No naughty words.
??
just remembered how Warner/ Smith etal fought for the current funding deal
https://www.michaelwest.com.au/snicko-cricket-australia-its-just-not-cricket/