Humble servant of the Nation

Bill Shorten the political contortionist

SHARE
, / 21194 485

Let’s face it, Bill Shorten is the only reason Coalition MPs still get out of bed every morning. Without him, they’d be stuck in the foetal position, rocking gently from side to the side, sucking their thumbs.

If we thought the Turnbull government was a broken husk of a government, we’d be right but in the past six months with the intensity building feverishly over the last fortnight, Bill Shorten has reminded us all that Labor, too, is a shambles, caught in a web of its own making.

A brief history of Shorten’s position on the $16.5 billion Adani mine in North Queensland reveals he’s done more revolutions than Che Guevara. Six months ago Shorten gave the mine the thumbs up. Then he dragged out the party line that he supported the Adani mine provided it “stacked up economically and environmentally.” That was two weeks ago. After a whirlwind trip of the Great Barrier Reef, courtesy of the Australian Conservation Foundation, Shorten had a trademark change of heart, followed by another. Last week he threatened to put the kibosh on the mine entirely. This week he says he no longer supports the mine but will reluctantly let it go ahead.

I’m getting vertigo just thinking about it.

Full column here.

485 Comments

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    Strewth hope Mr Baptiste doesn’t see this, some frothing fool says the NASA Moon Landings were staged in Hawaii and offers “proof”. Be gone with you Mr David Bryant get off the “turps” dear fellow. Bet Bryant has a Book to push – oh lookee he has!
    https://tinyurl.com/yak4uc65

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Crikey, Deja Vu all over again! Didn’t you put that up on the last blog?
      The news has been around for years Henry. If you look you will find plenty of photos of many of the astronauts, film crew and NASA reps swanning about on the Hawaiian lava fields.
      Others have pointed out the extraordinary similarity of terrain between the , ahem, moon, and the Mojave desert.
      And didn’t the Apollo crew present the Rijksmuseum with a piece of moon rock, also known as fossilised wood from the Mojave?
      As I recall some Dutch newspapers called “bulls&%t ” from the get go. Bit of a wink and nod eh?

      • Henry Blofeld says:

        Goodness me dear Mr Baptiste you did see it. Your humble correspondent was unsure you were aware of this crackpots bollocks but seems you are. Even Byrant says he does believe that the 1st couple of landings were kosher but they never went back for the others as they were “scared off by Aliens”. What bollocks. If that was true all they had to do was say the Apollo Program was now concluded after say Apollo 12. Cheers

        • Jean Baptiste says:

          If the man believes the first two were genuine then he is an idiot Henry. Clearly, for any thinking person manned moon landings are impossible still for all sorts of reasons.
          However there are very good reasons to believe that some of the faked footage was shot in Hawaii, or stills of that terrain were used in the frontal projection techniques that are obvious in the faked film.
          The Apollo program was suddenly terminated in mid course because it had become too obvious that it was all fraudulent and a monumental gouging scam.

  • Trivalve says:

    Something I’ve noted on Shorten’s left temple and mentioned before – a growing black thing. Looks nasty. He may not be bothering the voters much at all if he’s not careful. And I don’t wish that sort of thing on anybody.

  • Milton says:

    And I just read that the Donald is looking after his best mates and exempting us from tariff’s. I’ll put that down to the Shark.

  • Milton says:

    OT – was about to get my afl tipping under way when I baulked at the first hurdle. I’m hoping to get off to a flyer and am confronted with Richmond v Carlton. I have a rough idea who Boa and JtI will tip, so seek the advice of more objective and ambitious types like a Bill Grieve, Tracy or even a Perentie, or anyone else not inked with these teams logos.

    • Lou oTOD says:

      Why should I give you a leg up Milton?

      Ok because I like you, Richmond in a canter. They cut the celebrations short long enough to sober up, membership has just surged past 80,000, and I believe next week is looking like a sellout, unheard of for the first round.

      If the Tigers were to fail, the faithful would have their guts for garters. They waited a long time for this mate, and may not go the distance again this year, but too much talent for the Navy Blues.

      • Boadicea says:

        That makes me nervous Lou! The Tiges have this uncomfortable habit of losing whenever they are expected to win comfortably – and vice versa

    • Tracy says:

      Still haven’t made up my mind Milt, didn’t we all do well in Champions League this week……zilch all, can’t remember ever having a first round leg like that.

    • Wissendorf says:

      I’m taking the Blues. They have some new blood in the midfield to reinforce Paddy Cripps (now promoted to VC) and a new ruckman/tall forward from Bendigo who arrives with good wraps. Matt Shaw from the Gold Coast Suns will be a boon on the wing, where the Blues have had a weakness. Carlton by 3 goals. I expect Carlton will play on into September this year.

      Cats will blitz the Demons at the G. The GOAT is back in town. Cats by 10 goals.

    • Boadicea says:

      Tis quite a tricky one Milt.!

  • BASSMAN says:

    Van The Man’s column in the Oz was brilliant today…never biased, straight down the middle, always giving good advice to both sides. The Prof gave Shorten a correct serve-yep he could easily get done at the next election and then said Malcolm should call a spill at 30 Newspolls to recharge his leadership. He would probably win it because no one would vote for Dutts or Demidenko Bishop. Dutts is far too far to the right. A spill might also shut Shanghai Abbott up. A re endorsement of Tbull would be egg all over Shanghai Abbott’s face giving Tbull a clear run to the election next May or whenever.

    BRADMAN:-bit bleary eyed-stayed until the end…wot for? Rabada’s 5 for 13 in 18 balls was brilliant stuff. Then he does the Nightshift for 17 not out. He deserves a Koala Stamp. We got off to a great start until Khawaja hung his bat out to dry.

    • Milton says:

      Do you think Malcolm would have the balls to call a spill, Bassy? I’d be surprised if he did. And what if the result was a close split? He’d look further diminished.

    • Razor says:

      The spill theory is an interesting one Bassy. Pretty ballsy thing to do and would put Abbott back in his box. He won’t have the guts to do it though.

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Malcolm would have no fear of calling or losing a spill. It is completely unnecessary, a waste of time and the only thing it would achieve would be to give the unhinged Abbott unwarranted and weird cause to believe he was “getting to” the Prime Minister.
      They could dress Abbott in a clown suit, tar and feather him and run him out of town on a rail and it would only serve to reinforce his belief that God was testing him on his inevitable destiny to be leader and saviour of the nation.
      And possibly the world.

  • The Bow-Legged Swantoon says:

    Power Bill stands for Power Bill. In everything he does, that is the one rock-solid constant.

    • BASSMAN says:

      Geez Bow do some reading…power has doubled under the Liberals (“Electricity will always be cheaper under us, debt
      will always be lower under us, we are the adults…blah blah blah”). Industrially, in some areas, power prices have even tripled. I was listening to a guy who does sheet metal work on 2GBiased who says he is thinking of moving offshore because his power bill has TRIPLED!

      • The Bow-Legged Swantoon says:

        Don’t be so literal, B’MAN. The “Power” in “Power Bill” can mean more than one thing. Use your imagination.

      • Boadicea says:

        Remember that family living in welfare housing in SA that we discussed here a few weeks back – who had been given solar and battery compliments of Musk? They reckoned their bill for a quarter had been $900 – and it was thought here that that was exaggerated or they were into hydroponics?. They may have been accurate.
        A journalist from SA reckoned in an article that his Winter power bill over 13 weeks last year was $2,600!! I’d die of fright if I got a bill like that.
        I see that subsidies for solar installations are predicted to reach $1billion this year – increasing the price to household consumers by $100. The certificates are granted to people installing the solar panels and electricity retailers are required to buy them.
        This strikes me as another system that could be open to unscrupulous operators rorting it. I hope not.
        But why do those who may not have solar for one reason or another have to subsidise those that do?
        Many cannot afford to do it or are of an age that the cost is too high to be recovered over a number of years.

        • Razor says:

          The rebate system is skewed against those who can least afford it for sure Bella. With regard to SA I said at the time the bill would be accurate and sure enough……..

          • Dismayed says:

            The bill is NOT accurate. You are incapable of accepting facts.

          • Boadicea says:

            Its Boa, Razor (predictive text curse)
            And I see this morning’s paper raises the possibility that I immediately thought of when I first read the article.Rorting, pink batts style. All sorts of phony installers will be out ripping people off – especially the elderly.

        • Dismayed says:

          Rubbish article using false assumptions. See the link posted higher up that proves the article you refer to is another misinformation effort by Newscorp. No surprises.

        • Dismayed says:

          My winter power bill in Adelaide last year was $400. The average bill for 13 months in SA is $2100. You are wrong as usual.

  • wraith says:

    @ Razor (prev blog)
    .
    Um, yes, okay. How does uranium mining effect the krill? Im sorry but I fail to follow the logic of your post. Unless it was a try at diversion.
    Anyhoo, like I said, dont fret any of it people, we are just a few degrees of acidity away from knocking over all the tiny plankton and krill.
    Then its all over red rover.

    • BASSMAN says:

      Warm oceans due to climate change are killing off krill leaving less food for the whales Bald.

      • Lou oTOD says:

        Whale numbers are growing in record numbers Bassy, so what exactly are they eating? Oh and whale predation from sharks is increasing, the population of Great Whites off Wetern Australia alone has now grown to more than 5000.

        • BASSMAN says:

          LAO TZU:-Whales are not in record numbers Bald:-

          https://phys.org/news/2017-09-endangered-whales-declining.html

          • Lou oTOD says:

            Nice try at the three card trick Bassy. You picked out the smallest population of Right whales, being those in the North Atlantic. In fact World population of Right Whales is growing by 7%.

            As for other species with much larger populations, e.g. pilot Whales, the growth is more like 20%. Note I said growth rate, not absolute numbers. Still, given the relatively short number of years since commercial whaling was banned, things are on the up.

      • Carl on the Coast says:

        Blackmores? Krill oil? Omega-3 good 4 u? Comprende?

        • Trivalve says:

          Have been watching that Carl. Wondering where they get it and how sustainable it is. Meanwhile the science agencies are still doing surveys in the Antarctic to try and answer that very question, minus the effect of snake oil companies.

          • Carl on the Coast says:

            Yes, the oil extraction method using solvents has been found wanting in a number of cases. Doesn’t sound too flash to me.

        • BASSMAN says:

          Stopped taking that when research shows U must get the oil from eating fresh fish NOT capsules.

          • Razor says:

            Had a piece of Salmon last night Bassy. Bloody delicious!

            • BASSMAN says:

              One of my favourites ’til I tasted Mangrove Jack. I am told that Tassy salmon is artificially coloured to give it the red tinge.. They put something in the tinge. Still tastes great though. They charge us far too much for it though.

          • Boadicea says:

            Can one cook the fish first Bassy? 🙁

            • BASSMAN says:

              Surprisingly I like my favourite fish RAW….cut into strips….dip in virgin olive oil laced with HEAPS of garlic…tastes magic. Especially the salmon.

              • Boadicea says:

                My favourite is salmon, skin on, done on the Weber, skin side down first.
                There’s a bit of a backlash against salmon farming here because they are polluting sea beds.
                Yes, they do feed them a dye to improve the colour. Silly, isn’t It?

              • Boadicea says:

                When i was sailing we used to “cook” fish by marinating them in lemon juice, Bassy.. Delicious

            • Carl on the Coast says:

              Always better to catch it first.😋

          • Milton says:

            It seems to me that it would always be better to eat good food than take a tablet or capsule.

            • BASSMAN says:

              That is wht the Dr said to me….vitamins are NOT in capsules and supplements-they are in fresh vegetables, meat and fish

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      Oh bugger the krill. And bugger the whales. Humans have buggered themselves. Anyone who can read a graph can see we’re gone, done and dusted, the fat lady is sucking in huge air for the grand finale.
      The equivalent heat yield of five Hiroshima size atomic bombs going into the oceans every second, Eighty six thousand four hundred per diem, thirty one million five hundred and thirty six thousand per annum.
      Do the math.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK_eQImKnPA&list=RDkK_eQImKnPA

      The key’s under the mat, I’ll be on holidays. If you cant see this one coming at least, you’re definitely mental.

      Give ’em heaps Wraithy.

      • Carl on the Coast says:

        I see you’re upping the ante JB. It was three last time you posted. Hmmmm ….. Think I’ll buy those bananas after all.

  • Tracy says:

    Footy tips Jack

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    They both love a good Burger, Mr Insider and of course I refer to POTUS Trump and Kim Jong un, both a tad on the “plumpish” side but what a breakthrough this coming meeting if not just for the historical significance. Trump wont make any silly concessions am sure, in fact would hate to be buying anything off him he would screw the last 50cents out of you. Kim Jong un may have realised he must not end up like a Saddam Hussein figure so has decided to embrace “change” and of course he has his own agenda. Where will this meeting take place, who knows, some say China, but wherever it’s a breakthrough in an effort to achieve peace, always a worthy cause imho.
    https://tinyurl.com/ybsrzqqf

    • Carl on the Coast says:

      Or a Muammar Gaddafi.

      • Henry Blofeld says:

        Yes indeed Carl, a sticky end did Muammar come too, not something one would want and Kim am sure is fully aware of the implications of crossing the USA “nastywise”. Cheers P.S. dear Mr Baptiste remains sceptical of the “deal”

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      For a start North Korea does not have any oil. And apart from that the reason the North Koreans have been able to get away with standing up to the US is because they are a Chinese client. If Kimmie gives up the Nukes, he will insist on the US stopping the “practice invasion” exercises off the North Korean Coast every year and get guarantees.
      I think Trump will be very unpopular with US arms and logistics contractors if he downgrades the threat of North Korea.

      • Henry Blofeld says:

        Are you brazenly suggesting Mr Baptiste that POTUS Trump, man of peace and deal maker extraordinaire, would sell out the possibility of World Peace for some shabby US arms and logistics contracts! I say that is a breathtaking cheek of you dear fellow. Retract I say, retract! Cheers

        • Jean Baptiste says:

          Henry, instead of just regurgitating why don’t you actually look past US propaganda and make a study of the real history of the Korean situation?
          Bottom line, after all of Trump’s posturing, he will, if he knows what is good for him, do exactly what he is told to do, by people with far more power than a dill elected to be POTUS by the people will ever have.
          I don’t believe the US military industrial complex has any interest whatsoever in forgoing the massive profits from maintaining the tension on the Korean peninsular.

  • Boadicea says:

    Fir a while there they were thought to be a shoe in after the Feeney departure. But time seems to have blurred all that. Looking at the swing away from the Greens here, I wondered if that will be reflected in Batman. But the city-slicking Greens have a different agenda. It will be interesting.

    • Boadicea says:

      oops, this was in reply to JB right at the bottom. Wrong box!

    • Henry Blofeld says:

      The only thing that stands between a win and a loss for Ced Kearney is Bill Shorten imho Boadicea. The Greens hopeless. Cheers

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      “shoo-in.”

      Your writing has a remarkable resemblance to that of “Annie’s” when she broke cover from the obviously confected persona of landed gentry yokel air hostess, and used what one assumes was her real character in some posts.
      Don’t be offended, she could actually put together some fairly well written right wing ratbaggery.

      Cheers. Give ’em heaps.

      • Lou oTOD says:

        I actually prefer shoe in JB, they all deserve a kick up the arse.

        Its a pity Sam Newman didnt get his act together earlier and run in Battman, now that would have been entertaining. He might have garnered what I see now SBS are cqlling the ‘LGBTI plus’ community. Does that leave anyone out?

      • Boadicea says:

        I was never Annie, JB.
        She never worried me either. She said what she thought – nothing wrong with that

        • Jean Baptiste says:

          Didn’t say you were. Just commenting on the coincidental aspects.
          Refresh me, did she disappear soon after you appeared?

          • Boadicea says:

            No she was around for a long time. She got chased off the blog by the shellacking she got from one or two here . Remember she was persistently labelled CWAnnie by one amongst us.? She got sick of it. She is still very active over the wall I notice and still talks about her times as a hostie.
            So maybe you are not as smart at picking coincidental aspects as you think hey?

        • Penny says:

          Well she said what she or one of her many personas thought at the time and given the situation. Still I miss the stories and her sense of humour. Although I must say I have never quite got over the story of the little Indian orphan girl picked up off the streets of Bombay (?) and smuggled into Australia by the QF crew. Lacked a bit of a follow-up that story.
          Firefighter, cattle woman, air hostess, horse breeder….did I forget anything?
          She provided great entertainment for this blog, as I said I miss her

          • Penny says:

            I should add I miss Bassman’s mate Rodent too. So many characters , too many of them gone missing. Let’s hope that JTI keeps the blog going after he gets out of hospital….

          • Razor says:

            Don’t forget Greyhound rescue Penny!

            • Milton says:

              I liked Annie and no doubt after an extremely full life she deserves a peaceful retirement.

            • Penny says:

              Forgotten about the greyhound rescue. And building the school at Mt. Macedon Razor, until she was asked what year and went quiet. She also related a story about an aboriginal drover shooting a crocodile at Yellow Waters for eating his horse…..except you know there’s not too many drovers around in Kakadu National Park. All good though even if some of the facts were a little shall we say….distorted.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.

PASSWORD RESET

LOG IN