Humble servant of the Nation

Australia’s second-hand secrets

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Psst. Anyone know where I can get my hands on some top-secret documents?

Never mind. It turns out they can be purchased in second-hand stores. Look for locked filing cabinets without keys, collapsible document files that read “Top Secret” or “AUSEO” (Australian Eyes Only), or brown paper bags marked “Cabinet-in-Confidence”.

Welcome to the thigh-slapping comedy that is the commonwealth of Australia.

Perhaps we shouldn’t be too harsh. This could be a brilliant ruse. Certainly, the Chinese will be completely confounded by it. They’ve been spending the big bucks on electronic surveillance and satellite tracking to get access to national security information when all they really needed was to drive around Canberra and do a spot of low-level antiquing.

Full column here.

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