Humble servant of the Nation

Laughing it up with Malcolm

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The national smoke night known as the Midwinter Ball has been rumbled. Of course, you and I can’t go, not without creating a scene anyway, but we did manage to get a glimpse of the frivolity from a ‘leaked’ video shot on one of the more than 600 smartphones in the Great Hall of Parliament House.

With that many phones with functioning cameras, I doubt we can actually call it a leak as the clip had better production values than you might see on Channel Ten at the moment.

There is no truth in the rumour that Malcolm Turnbull clambered back on stage for an encore, ate at a vase full of flowers and sung the first two verses of Eskimo Nell for even more hilarity. And I am yet to establish if, in the latter part of the evening, they got the Crown and Anchor board out and those assembled opened their wallets and went hard.

Maybe my bandwidth is a bit on the slow side (thanks Malcolm), because by the time I got the video to play, all the good jokes might have been lost in the buffering – but in this morning’s spin on what may one day become known as the real death of vaudeville, the Prime Minister’s colleagues emerged to declare him the new King of Comedy… and not in the bad Rupert Pupkin way.

Full column here.

197 Comments

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    Exciting Space news just to hand, Mr Insider, from the fabulous NASA who gave us 6 superb Moon Landings in ’69/70, a feat I do note that only a complete “Featherhead” would deny!. However I digress and the news is as follows: “NASA’s planet-hunting telescope has found 10 new planets outside our solar system that are likely the right size and temperature to potentially have life on them.After four years of searching, the Kepler telescope has detected a total of 49 planets in the Goldilocks zone. And it only looked in a tiny part of the galaxy, one quarter of 1 per cent of a galaxy that holds about 200 billion stars.”. I do hope Elon Musk of SpaceX is across this, not to be outdone by a government organisation!
    http://tinyurl.com/y89soczs

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      There is a reason astronauts never leave low Earth orbit Henry. If you did just a modicum of research and learned something other than your bad parrot impersonation you would realise why.

  • Jean Baptiste says:

    Phwaww! Could be some chilly extremities up on Cradle Mountain tomorrow, eh. wink wink, nudge nudge, know what oi mean.?

    https://thetrek.co/hike_naked_day_2015/

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    Kim Jong-un you low murderous mongrel bastard! American student Otto Warmbier, 22, dies six days after being brought back to the US from North Korea in a coma following 17 months in prison for stealing a propaganda poster!
    http://tinyurl.com/y73ubaq8

  • Huger Unson says:

    Been to Sydney Film Festival, Jack?
    I see one with Ryan Gosling described as “unbearably pretentious”.
    How about ‘The Party’ with Bruno Ganz & Timothy Spall?

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    “I’m standing there, the cupboard is bare, with emptiness all around”, words from a Song, Mr Insider, but they perfectly describe the state of the Federal Coalition right now. As Mark Kenny from the SMH says the Electorate is “browned off and switched off”. Abbott is busy doing his best impersonation of Rudd in white anting the government. Meanwhile Bill Shorten is beaming!
    http://tinyurl.com/yd3btllt

  • Rhys Needham says:

    Looks like a horrible run of luck in the UK.

    Some nutty white bloke has run over worshippers at a mosque in London. Possible terrorist attack.

    79 now confirmed casualties out of Grenfell Tower, too.

    Brexit talks starting and the UK Government seems to have nary a clue about what to do about much at all.

    62 dead in big forest fires in central Portugal as well – http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2017/06/forest-fire-kills-25-central-portugal-170618044151132.html.

    • Jack The Insider says:

      Worst fires in Portugal’s history apparently. The UK Govt is in turmoil and I don’t know how they can progress. The DUP agreement is still a work in progress and the political implications from Grenfell are profound.

      • Lou oTOD says:

        Terribly sad situation in Portugal, with limited capacity to fight major bushfires.

        We are heading that way in September, staying at Coimbra which is in the same area. Hope they get things under control before more lives are lost.

        • Penny. says:

          Lou oTOD and TV……the sad thing about Portugal is that they have had bushfire problems almost ever year, but they were particularly bad in 2003, 2013 and now this year. They are still a relatively poor country in terms of infrastructure, so have to rely on Spain, France etc, for help for these disasters. I love Portugal and my heart goes out to them.
          Glad your son had left that region TV

      • Trivalve says:

        One of my boys just left Portugal about two days before that happened. Good thing, even if he wasn’t near it. very reminiscent of Black Saturday, and a lot of it was plantation eucalyptus apparently.

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    “Team New Zealand” smacking arse in the Americas Cup now on in Bermuda, Mr Insider, giving the US “Oracle Team USA” a sailing lesson so far and streaking away with the “Auld Mug”. We can say what we like about our beloved friends from across the ditch, yes Sheep jokes do come to mind, but by golly they can Sail a Yacht! Time we Aussies mounted another successful challenge, 1983 a long time ago!
    http://tinyurl.com/y83w4uoq

  • Boadicea says:

    Gone are the vomit bag and painkillers. Palmer cruising the Med. Maybe checking out property in Majorca?

    • Razor says:

      I called that course of action 2yrs ago Boa. More like Eastern Europe me thinks….

    • Henry Blofeld says:

      Shades of Alan Bond, Boadicea!

    • Lou oTOD says:

      Yes Bo, just tearing another page out of the Christopher Skase playbook. It would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic, not to mention the trail of destruction left behind.

      I was up on the Sunshine Coast last week, and called in to the now defunct Palmer Coolum resort out of idle curiousity. They are actually keeping the golf course open, but no one plays there. The once gem in Australian golf is derelict, and the locals of whom 640 used to work there won’t go near the place. I asked the only person working what the green fees are now, he said $99 which was the price when it was in pristine operating condition! Delusional!

  • Bella says:

    Inspirational WW2 veteran & climate activist Bill Ryan, 95 years old and on the run from police after locking up one of ten industrial sites targeted last night, demanding Downer tear up Adani’s contract.
    https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1920274404896623&id=1405959009661501

    Go you magnificent brave man, they sure bred them tough. 🌏

    • Razor says:

      Breaking the law is tough?

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Well perhaps not, but he sure looks like a tough old fella. With his passion he probably finds it easy to break certain laws.
        Bill’s a hero. For everyone else……….

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntuqTuc6HxM

        Whop it up ’em Bill. Make ’em take it.

      • Bella says:

        Depending who you are affiliated with it can be Razor but this old Kokoda veteran doesn’t care because he’s on a mission to protect his country, again, only this time from a billionaire who will cause environmental & social devastation.
        Our governments are quick to obey Adani even if they are involved in illegal dealings, bribery, money-laundering, fraud & corruption allegations, in their own country.
        Did you know Adani was ordered to pay $4.8M after they constructed Hajira Port which wrecked habitat, claimed land illegally & blocked access to poor fishing communities, all without approval? They don’t care who or what they hit to line their fat wallets mate.

        If you’re going to start this alluding to “some on here” just say my name. It’s Bella. Trouble for you is we’re all allowed an opinion here unless JTI says no, even a pro-conservation Greenie like me who’s proud to back the likes of Mr Ryan for fighting for what he believes in & to hell with the rules.
        Regards, Bella

        • Penny. says:

          Onya Bella. I love the position you take against Adani. Keep up the good work, if it wasn’t for people like you the world would be in a much worse position than it is. I don’t hold out much hope for the future though

          • Bella says:

            Thank-you very much Penny.
            Kind words are so few these days in activism so it’s lovely to hear them.
            It can be a hard road but there’s just too much at stake to sit quietly & let it happen without a fight.
            My best to you Penny, Bella

        • Razor says:

          Bella,
          Unfortunately done on here refers to more than just you but if you want it to be all about you then fill your boots.

    • Henry Blofeld says:

      Fabulous Bella, thank you for posting, bravo Bill Ryan.

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