Humble servant of the Nation

A reminder of Labor’s history of stuffing up golden situations

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The final sitting day in the parliament yesterday provided a timely reminder that Labor has a long and illustrious history of finding itself in golden situations only to totally stuff them up.

Forget the next three years, Bill Shorten and Labor could turn the dumpster fire that is Canberra at present into an inferno that could engulf it and everyone in the general vicinity in less than 12 weeks.

In other, brighter circumstances it might be the kind of efficient service delivery the punters expect from government.

Presuming Shorten and Labor win the next election (and that requires a sizeable leap of faith if not logic after yesterday’s shenanigans), one can only speculate what disasters will come its way in government. My best guess is Shorten will do a Nick Greiner, establish a federal anti-corruption commission only to find multiple members of his cabinet and ultimately himself, ensnared in it, providing an alternative meaning to the term “conviction politicians”.

In what stands as an extraordinary political achievement, Labor managed to disappoint everyone across the political spectrum yesterday — people who vote Labor, people who don’t and people who were thinking of voting Labor but now probably won’t.

It was as if the tactics committee met, handed Shorten a ball-peen hammer and told him to belt himself over the head with it, on the basis that it would feel better when he stopped.

The telecommunications access and assistance bill became law yesterday, passing through the Senate 44 votes to 12, after being waved through the House with bipartisan support.

It is, of course, a bill of the government’s making. It is a disaster, created by legal minds with little or no apparent expertise in technology. The problems with it are numerous but the biggest lies in the fact the law would require technology companies to target a single device or small number of devices, but only in a way that does not introduce a “systemic weakness” that impacts all users.

The techs I have spoken to say this is all but impossible and may lead to tech companies feeling obliged to leave the country rather than run afoul of this putrescent law. One of our most prolific and profitable industry sectors may leave our shores in droves. Well done, everyone. Throw another log on the dumpster fire.

The other major problem with the bill is it is yet another intrusion into the privacy of the citizenry. Predictably the response from the government and the opposition is of the tedious, “if you done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about” kind.

Labor’s favourite urger on Twitter, member for Gellibrand, Tim Watts, lectured a clearly unnerved Twitterdom on Tuesday night in an effort to bring some calm. “Wait and see our amendments,” the young MP promised. In the end Labor dropped its amendments altogether and waved the bill through.

It is a dreadful piece of law and by Labor’s own admission will need to be amended early next year, leading to the obvious question, and one that remains unanswered, why wave it through the lower house at all?

Timidity and cowardice

The old maxim that any day when the political debate turns to border security is a bad day for Labor seems to have Bill Shorten and his front bench spooked.

Labor is everywhere and nowhere on this issue. Jelly nailed to a wall.

Timidity and political cowardice are never far away with this mob.

The day started with Prime Minister Morrison facing a humiliating defeat in the parliament, with Labor and the Greens supporting a crossbench bill which would leave the decision on refugee repatriation to Australia entirely in the hands of those with medical expertise. Instead it was Shorten and Labor who were left pink-faced in embarrassment as the bill was filibustered to within an inch of its life in the Senate.

Everything Labor sought to achieve did not happen and everything it did not want to happen came to pass.

News reports today indicating Labor has softened its policy stance on refugee policy lends strength to the prevailing view that Labor is soft on border control while Shorten et al have simultaneously upset Labor voters who were hoping for a more humane policy response.

Faced with the prospect of multiple triumphs in the parliament in the morning session, all Shorten could do was lament the scoreboard at the end of the day. Win-win had become lose-lose.

As the House adjourned for the Christmas break, it was difficult to determine who felt more relieved — Scott Morrison or Bill Shorten. The only good news for both men is the parliament will sit so rarely in the New Year, they may as well call in the caterers and hire out both chambers for weddings, parties, anything. Maybe a funeral or two.

The focus in recent times has naturally been on the Morrison government and its travails. There appears to be no way out for the government, that is until we pause and turn our gaze to Bill Shorten and the Labor opposition.

And when we do, we are drawn to the conclusion that it would be madness to underestimate Labor’s capacity for political self-harm.

This column was first published in The Australian on 7 December 2018.

1,429 Comments

  • Dismayed says:

    Here we have the trainee treasurer making himself look even more ridiculous than he did yesterday.
    “While the L-plate Treasurer is stuck in a time warp, Labor’s tax vision is much fairer, economically constructive and in favour of the national interest” No Surprises fair dinkum livin on a prayer so hold onto to what you got.
    https://tinyurl.com/y8pz2uom

  • Not Finished Yet says:

    I do hope Ms Alqunun makes it to Australia. For a young woman to renounce Islam and try to get out of Saudi Arabia is almost as life threatening as anyone trying to get out of North Korea. She is obviously a young woman of courage and independent thought. Even though she wrote ‘witch’ rather than ‘which’, her English skills seem very good.

    I would love to see her accepted by Australia. She would be a tremendous asset if she put together a web site or had a social media platform titled ‘In Australia a young woman can do ANYTHING.’ It could show her driving a car, not walking three steps behind a male, not being chaperoned. It could show that a young woman can become an engineer, a truck driver, a lawyer, a politician, even a Prime Minister. And she should do it in both Arabic and English. The Arabic version will be a wonderful educational tool for middle eastern migrants in Australia and would probably go viral in the middle east itself once it became known. The English version, of course, would be a wonderful educational tool for the Coalition.

    • Trivalve says:

      I’ll be happy if they just save her life, because, even though we may not be getting 100% facts about this, it’s better than even money that her life would be in danger if she got sent back.

    • Penny says:

      Very good point NFY. I was interested to be told by a Tourism exec here in Penang that the Saudis are all coming here for their January break because they have been advised not to travel to Turkey….not that they are good tourists anyway as they spend no money and the women criticise the female Malays for only wearing the hijab and not the niqab.

    • Mack the Knife says:

      Second try at this. Her father & brother just turned up in Thailand, think she is hooped.

  • Carl on the Coast says:

    Yes, re earlier posts on here re skeptical science, one instinctively knows when some of these seemingly self-appointed AGW scientists are out of their depth. They firstly acknowledge the significant boo-boos in their previous work by admitting they didn’t realise their initial research, in relation to warming oceans, was so far off the mark than they had earlier “predicted” and which they simply “thought” was correct. But to add insult to injury they attempt to restore a sense of professional respectability by lamely offering the analogy that if you leave a can of coke in the sun its temperature will increase (dur …) and it will lose gas (double dur …), as does the ocean when the sun shines brightly. And they then attempt to reassure us that henceforth their “scientific” analyses will all be tickety-boo.

    One may well be excused to opine that if all they’ve got in their kit bag is a couple of cans of coke to convince us Armageddon is nigh, we ain’t got too much to be concerned about.

  • BASSMAN says:

    For quite some time now just on 40% of the Oz team’s runs have been scored by just 2 blokes-Smith and Warner. With two of the best batsmen in the world absent, no wonder the team is under-performing. Their time at the crease also builds confidence in others that follow what with an older ball and more wasted players on the fielding side. Sad Cafe.

  • Jean Baptiste says:

    Exciting news for coal loving Queenslanders! At the last council of the Irukjandi Jellyish Tourist Association it was mooted that The Gold Coast will be the next big happening place, with billions planning to make the journey further south in the coming years.
    Great News for Tourism Queensland too as spokesperson Ian Idiot posited that the Japanese by “the sh*tloads” with their interesting predilections for puffer fish etc will be flocking to the South East of the state to join in the excitement.

  • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

    Well done USA as we see, Mr. Insider a US guided-missile destroyer sailed near disputed islands in the South China Sea in what China has called a “provocation”.
    Bloody hell the hide of the Chinese they built these Islands to suit themselves re their claim on Taiwan and now they have the bald faced cheek to try and stop any country sailing near them!
    Mr. Baptiste will be thrilled am sure. Shame on you China.
    https://tinyurl.com/y7ojqqut

    • Jean Baptiste says:

      A bit of posturing for the flag wavers back home in the States Henry. Secretly the Chinese will be laughing up their sleeves at such a feeble gesture, because they are doing what they like and there is bugger all anyone can do about it. They will make a bit of mileage out it of course.
      I didn’t know the Chinese built the Paracels Henry, how edifying it is to have a geographer on board.
      If it does go pear shaped, the Chinese wont be taking a backward step
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hainan_Island_incident

  • Dwight says:

    Just popping in to see Dismal’s blog and again understanding why I don’t spend as much time here as I used to.

  • Carl on the Coast says:

    Jean Baptiste says/asks: Jan 7, 2019 at 10:36 AM
    “…. reserve the option of being being skeptical…… ”
    Okaaaay, what does that mean exactly?

    It seems quite obvious JB, that most folk who may be dubious about the solidity of the subject matter at hand would have no difficulty with the view that one needs to retain an open mind to guard against the likelihood, however slight it may be, that obscurantism may be employed by a would-be blatherskite in order to prevent any alternative options being put.

    It is well known in the business as negative abstruseness. Those who are not so easily convinced by the merits of a particular argument, no matter the use of colourful graphs (or language), emotive descriptors, questionable links, etc, the interlocutor will counter with well-reasoned possibilities and alternatives.

    Its simply a question of healthy cut and thrust me old mate.

  • Boadicea says:

    So a freight train had a mishap on the Indian Pacific railway and the passengers booked on the trip were flown from Perth to Adelaide – probably missing the best part.
    But never fear – SBS have one of those interminable “slow TV” things on for the whole of Saturday – which, as luck would have it, is the Indian Pacific!
    So the passengers who missed out can sit back in their lounge chair and pretend they’re on the train. 😂 Maybe it was a dastardly plot to get some viewers.
    Tried to watch the one of the Sami woman walking her pack reindeer up in the Arctic circle. Scenery was nice and moody but I gave up after a kilometre or so. 🙄

    • Henry Donald J Blofeld says:

      Helps to have a few “belts” before watching the SBS “SLOW” programs Boadicea but do applaud them for showing it. We have done both the Indian Pacific and the Ghan and once was enough, however, the food and drinks and service exceptional on both. Cheers

      • Milton says:

        I reckon a good and mysterious murder is an essential ingredient for a long rail trip, Henry. Preferably with a Belgian mastermind sporting a quirky moustache and a funny walk on board to solve it. That Miss Marple strikes me as a freeloader, though she is effective.

    • Dwight says:

      The 700km across the Nulabor aren’t that interesting but it is an experience!

    • Zaphod Beeblebox says:

      “Probably missing the best part”. No my dear Boa, that part of Australia is known as ‘a blight on the planet’, for good reason. They missed a whole bunch of nothing.

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