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We’ve always known it. We are miles ahead of the New Zealanders.

Last night in tortured reminiscence of our own political events post the 2010 election, NZ king/queen maker, Winston Peters announced he would support Labour and the Greens in loose coalition and allow Labour to form minority government. Thus Jacinda Ardern became NZ’s fourth prime minister in the last 18 years.

We have proven we can manage that feat in the space of about 18 months.

Bill Shorten got so excited he forgot how to spell or at least forgot how to spell the name of the freshly anointed political big wig of New Zealand, omitting the second ‘r’ from Ardern.

A correctly spelled missive was quickly dispatched but it did make me wonder. For the last 50 years the Americans have been having fun with our prime ministers’ names. From the simple misunderstanding over Malcolm Fraser’s preference for using his middle name as the more familiar to his first, all the way to our current PM who is known in Washington DC as Marlon Tumblington at last check.

Full column here.

319 Comments

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    A lot being said about Jacinda’s lovely set of teeth, Mr Insider, and may I add I think they are fantastic. In fact she could make me “Minister For Anything” in her “toothy” Cabinet and I would be delighted. Checking back into my Citizenship today and there is a possibility I may be related to my NZ Cuz Barnaby!

  • JackSprat says:

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/21/un-lambasted-after-naming-mugabe-goodwill-ambassador

    One person’s despot is another person’s hero I guess.

    What a farce – no wonder why those with a brain in their head think that many aspects of the UN are a waste of space.

    • Dwight says:

      He was an anti-colonialist, which in certain eyes makes him untouchable.

    • Dwight says:

      The funny thing is they are “now rethinking” this. What thinking person would _not_ have said, “Hmmmm. I wonder how this will go down with the folks who pay our bills?”

    • The Bow-Legged Swantoon says:

      Saudi Arabia is on their Human Rights Council. I don’t think they care much about making any sense.

    • Boadicea says:

      Just appalling JS. Hard to believe – or otherwise an example of how clueless the people on that UN committee are.
      One of the world’s worst despots – the only reason he’s still there probably is because Zimbabwe has nothing any of the super powers want.

      • The Outsider says:

        The UN has withdrawn Mugabe’s appointment.

        Appointing him in the first place wasn’t the brightest idea.

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        Zimbabwe has plenty of resources. The reason Mugabe is so demonised by the Super Powers is that he wont go belly up and hand it over as is expected according to a centuries old tradition exploiting third world nations. They’ve tried hard enough to dislodge him for decades. He gets a standing ovation in most black African nations.
        China is taking advantage of the rift between the would be colonists and Zim.
        This is interesting

        http://www.newsweek.com/china-africa-zimbabwe-disneyland-victoria-falls-628236

        • Boadicea says:

          Vic Falls are awesome, JB. Went there once when I lived in that part if the world.
          Actually there was strong opposition to Mugabe around the 2007/8 election. Morgan Tsvangirai.He got severely beaten up, slung into prison and tortured as I recall. As has everyone else who put their hand up. The man is plain evil.
          His big mate, Zuma, is no paragon of virtue either. I fully expect him to be South Africa’s “Mugabe”. They prop each other up – as I guess most corrupt leaders in those parts do.
          Yep. Not surprising to see China buying up tourism ventures.
          They own a fair wack of Australia too these days.

  • Trabvitch says:

    Seems as though the WHO has appointed e ba guM as a goodwill ambassador. What next, Jacob Zuma to head up an anti-corruption watch dog and Rocket Man to be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize?

    Good win to the Wallabies tonight.

    Now for one of the key questions of life. Are Customs and Immigration agents offered training on being surly, and if so do most take it up? In a return to the past, I have done a bit of travelling lately, and try and offer a friendly good morning/evening even after standing in a queue for a while, and usually the most I get back is a glare as if I am an idiot (which maybe I am for trying to be pleasant when actually I am thoroughly irritable). This is not the case in Australia now with using the gates (which do have more personality than some overseas officials).

    On the flip side, entering South Africa through Johannesburg a few months ago, one of the officials made a very funny comment in a very loud voice, and got the lengthy queue laughing (or at least smiling) – this breath of fresh air certainly lightened the mood of the weary people who had suffered a long flight and were suffering through an (hyperbole warning) even longer wait at the gates.

    I suppose, if I was on the other side of the desk and tried to be pleasant to lots of people day in day out maybe I would fail. Or then, maybe not.

    • The Bow-Legged Swantoon says:

      I’ve been out of the game for a while but it does seem to have taken a bit of a turn for the surly in recent times. From some of the emails I’ve got from ex colleagues I don’t think it’s a very happy business these days.

      It’s hard to imagine today a repeat of one of the funnier things I saw on a primary line, being an Indian colleague getting thoroughly peeved with a milling throng in front of his desk and saying (in his very Indian accent), “Would you all please stand in line. It’s hard to tell who is who; all you white people look the same!”

    • Penny. says:

      Agreed Trabvitch. Having taken the long way round to get back to Penang ( Malaysian Airlines having cancelled the service Darwin to KL) we found that the airline personnel were great, even if the QF flight attendant was a little over the top. Every announcement she made I expected her to ask us to clap our hands in appreciation. But the Border Control people were appallingly rude. Finally arriving back in Malaysia the difference in attitude was significant. They smiled and joked and welcomed us back.
      I thought Sydney Airport was a nightmare. It reminds me very much of Dubai with so many Duty Free shops and garish lighting.

  • Dwight says:

    “Asked if capitalism had failed New Zealanders on low incomes, Ms Ardern was blunt: “If you have hundreds of thousands of children living in homes without enough to survive, that’s a blatant failure. What else could you describe it as?””

    North Korea, here we come.

  • BASSMAN says:

    Paul Keating: U are starting to embarrass yourself like Howard…bobbing up all over the place like a ferret. GO AWAY and stop talking about things you know nothing about.

  • Dwight says:

    “She also said there would be compromise on Labour’s desire for the minimum wage to be raised to $16.50 and New Zealand’s First to have it at $20.”

    Well, employment will be toast. Well done.

  • Trivalve says:

    Caulfield Cup day. The year’s over.

    Any tips? (Quick!)

    • Trivalve says:

      Further to the above, I see that, apart from Jon Snow the horse, that the venerable stallions Sir Isaac Newton and Johannes Vermeer are going around in the Cup. Quite a formidable pair, if somewhat long in the teeth (in the manner of Ms Ardern?)

      I predict a dead heat between them.

      • Tracy says:

        Isn’t Snow a Targaryen?

        • wraith says:

          Am I still not allowed to read you Tracy? Well, if I am, or not, confuses the answers, but anyway. He’s a Targaryen banging his niece, I think. But, the show has died in the ass for me, giant plot hole! Where did the chain come from? You know, the three kilometer long massive ship linked steel chain they produced in the snow out of no-where to pull the dragon up from the depths?
          There was no chain being dragged along by the undead. It just, ‘appears’. Now, maybe the old dead guy with the blue eyes had it in his pocket all along, but I think I would have noticed the bulge.
          Anyhoo, just thought I’d mention that.

    • Jack The Insider says:

      If I had tipped you the winner, TV, I’d been around at your house now robbing you.

      • Reggy says:

        The smart money got him at 41’s and 11’s. The sectionals when compared to the favourite told the story. Lots of steady money all week.

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    The new New Zealand “First Bloke” is one Clarke Gayford, Mr Insider. Clarke hosts his own fishing television show, has already broken the mould of his predecessors, stepping in to defend his partner against “scaremongering old dinos”, including one political rival who made a disparaging reference to Ms Ardern and “lipstick on a pig”. Jacinda is already hard at work and expressed the desire to come to Australia to meet our PM Turnbull, though god knows why. Your humble Correspondent may just have to pop across to this delightful Country and reacquaint himself of its pleasures and treasures.
    http://tinyurl.com/ycous4dx

  • Milton says:

    Talk about a Cold Case I think I’ve picked up a cold just watching and listening to the Vic police chap offering a 6 million dollar reward to catch an early 80’s Melbourne serial killer. I’d never heard of that string of murders, but here’s hoping they catch the killer(s).

    • Jack The Insider says:

      Good to see these unsolved murders are back in the public eye. Fingers crossed the hommies make some real progress.

  • The Bow-Legged Swantoon says:

    Remember that Kiwi movie, ‘Once Were Warriors’? A mate did part of his chefing apprentice under a Maori chef in Melbourne. Tasked one day with keeping an eye on some stuffed tomatoes that were baking he forgot, resulting in some charred lumps on a tray. The chef walked in, saw the burnt offering and said, “What the f*** is thet?”

    Mate says, “Once were tomatoes”.

    Turns out Maori chefs don’t have much of a sense of humour.

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