Around 100 assembled in Melbourne and less in Sydney. Not big numbers but what they lacked in people power they more than made up for in lip-quivering paranoia.
It was proof that our crackpots are just as deluded, just as bonce-scratchingly demented, just as howl at the moon crazy as you’ll find anywhere in the world.
And what’s more, save the military hardware, our local fruitcakes have shown they can give the Americans a run for the money.
The local boys’ and girls’ work did not go unnoticed around the globe.
Never Trump Republican, David Frum, the man who coined the Bushian phrase, ‘the axis of evil’, watched our boys and girls gather and trash-tweeted, “Shouldn’t Australian “anti-globalists” invent their own domestic lunatic theories, rather than importing cheap foreign-made lunatic theories from the United States?”
Shouldn’t Australian “anti-globalists” invent their own domestic lunatic theories, rather than importing cheap foreign-made lunatic theories from the United States?
As if the Americans have a monopoly on crazy. Frum, the self-appointed leader of the terminally Trump deranged is not even American. He’s a Canadian. From Canadia.
We probably won’t have the Olympics this year and in times of pandemic our only source of national pride may well be a contest between our idiots and idiots elsewhere. On paper, I think we’re a seriously good silver medal chance and if we can get to the final, well, you never know.
On Saturday, protesters in Raleigh, North Carolina gathered collectively toting the sort of arsenal that might have brought about a different outcome to the Civil War.
Even crazed militia men need snacks and so a number of them were photographed carrying .50 calibre machine guns, bazookas and various light automatic side-arms while ordering meatball foot longs at the downtown Subway.
A group of about 11 mostly-armed demonstrators protesting the stay at home order marched around downtown Raleigh and ordered sandwiches at a Subway.
As far as we can tell they didn’t move on to JC Penney to purchase something nice for their moms on Mother’s Day. Perhaps that was intentional. I mean, what better way to say “I love you, Mom” than presenting her with an AGM-114 shoulder-fired anti-tank missile launcher with long-wave infrared seeker and a lovely pink bow wrapped around it?
Not to be outdone, our local lunatics proudly stepped up on Sunday for a shot at the prize in the fervent belief that a bit of inconvenience is a crippling blow to their hard-won freedoms that they’ve devoted their lives to not fighting for.
Were they protesting 5G, a radio frequency that they believe is nothing more than an exercise in thought control? Was it a shout out from the anti-vaxxer movement?
The answer in short is a little from Column A, a little from Column B and a lot from Column D. D for deranged.
In Melbourne, the high point of the afternoon was the sonorous chant of “Arrest Bill Gates” who wasn’t in Melbourne at the time.
Look, if Bill Gates is to be incarcerated it should be for Windows 8. I still remember having to load 21 disks to upgrade to Windows 95. That took several hours. Lock him up. Lock him up.
But no, it was not about that.
Our local nutters believe Gates who via his philanthropic organisation, the Gates Foundation promotes the use of vaccination to prevent kiddies dying of preventable diseases like polio and measles, is actually injecting them and then us with nano chips that will control us all into … buying MS Word or something.
The theory goes that a vaccine for the virus SARS-CoV-2 will be developed and injected into the world’s population.
You see, the pandemic is a myth, a lie and all those dead people have not died of acute viral pneumonia or heart failure but have been sent off for some frontier justice because they knew too much. It’s just a vehicle for injecting us with nano chips and Bill Gates is the grinning face of evil thought control.
But for me the great moment came when one of the protesters, a woman somewhere in her middle ages, held aloft a poster she had obviously made at home and which contained a comprehensive list of kooky conspiracy theories that are all profoundly whacko with the exception of the Lucifer Telescope which is eating our brains while we sleep. Wake up, sheeple!
The poster was an entry point so that the rest of us could have a better understanding of what it is she and her comrades are babbling crazily about.
I have descended into the darkest corners of the Zuckerberg Empire to find out so you don’t have to, and have probably been put on an AFP watch list for my trouble.
A quick look at the poster tells us that the proud owner who went to a lot of trouble and made some mistakes only to have run out of blue stencils, is a little confused about how hashtags work. You can’t ink them on to a sheet of cardboard and expect something will happen. In a way it has been effective because we’re publishing the photograph of the poster, so it is getting larger coverage than it would otherwise. But as a rule, writing down a hashtag on a piece of paper is a dismal tool in mass communication.
The conspiracy theories are heavy on pedophilia (Fiona Barnett) and one world government (QAnon). The CIA does a roaring trade in child trafficking. Former Nazis, most of whom would be a bit doddery by now, have formed a group known as the Ninth Circle Satanic Child Sacrifice Cult with the impressively evil acronym of NCSCSC and shop children around at the highest levels of government in Australia (Vral Society).
Adrenochrome, a powerful narcotic first mentioned in Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, is now a plaything of the Hollywood elite who grind up murdered children into a fine powder and snort them up their left nostrils.
There are a couple of oldies but goodies on the list, including Mk-Ultra where the CIA fed people LSD and made them do terrible things including assassinations and torture. But hey, free acid, right? And Operation PaperClip where German nuclear scientists were allocated between the first and second worlds thus ensuring superpower conflict was limited by the principle of mutually assured destruction which is bad for some reason.
And just because you should know, the Lucifer Telescope is a Vatican inspired one world government surrender to our alien overlords from beyond the moon, some of whom walk among us as lizards.
HM Elizabeth II, lizard. The Rothschilds, lizards. The Pope? You’d better believe he’s a giant lizard. According to the protesters, the rich and powerful are almost all lizards and those who aren’t lizards are in the thrall of the lizards but aren’t letting on about the lizards.
Why can’t we see the giant lizards or at least notice their long tails? We can put that down to impressive costuming and make up, apparently.
Two weeks back, in another seamy nook of the Zuckerberg website, another local protest group took to filming themselves smashing their tellies because we evil folk at the MSM had been lying to them again.
Twenty years ago, when you hit a cathode ray tube television with a sledgehammer, it was a deeply satisfying experience. The whole thing imploded. There was a lot of noise, some pretty colours and a gratifying spray of debris. Wind up and smash a plasma or LED screen TV now and there is a disappointing amount of damage. The screen cracks. A bit. There is no explosion.
Our local protesters seemed unaware of this before commencing their call to arms. This only seemed to enrage them further and afterwards they were filmed dragging their cracked television screens around by tow rope to the backs of their cars or fired at the cracked screens with shotguns which presumably they have licences to own although probably not to discharge in public otherwise the lizards would be all over them.
I have to say the TVs looked a bit old, to be honest, and the good Samsungs are probably still sitting in the living room.
Other than an exercise in wanton self-destruction it provided further proof that pound for pound Australia’s loons are among the looniest in the world.
So, what is to be done? Let’s cheer them on. Also, I think they need to be injected with nano tracking devices so we can keep an eye on them.
Over to you, Bill.
This column was first published in The Australian on 13 May, 2020.
Just come to the end of the Scandi Noir – Before we Die – Series 1 and 2 on SBS on Demand.
Can highly recommend. One of those when one is sorry to come to the end!
Crikey, I’m not sure we want Mike Pompeo declaring that the USA supports Australia in it’s bid at the WHO – it’ll just make China dislike us more than they apparently do now!
Boa, over 100 countries supported our most reasonable draft resolution, including the US. Its all over red rover. Too late for white flags now.
Don’t worry Boa. There’s long memories over there and I think the architects of the opium wars are probably at the top of the list.
John L, Boa and others…Morrison must be terrible naive,thick skinned or just plain DUMB if he thinks his demonising and taunting of China relating on a range of issues has nothing to do with recent trade disputes. Trying to hide behind ‘technical issues’ as the reason is plain head in the sand stuff. It is just megaphone sabre rattling politics by Morrison to get cheers from his hard right wing voter base. If China abandoned us we would be an economic wasteland. Never bite the hand that feeds you! Just SHUT UP and take the money like you would from a boss at work you may not like but need the gig. Bloody hell, what notice does China take of us anyway about ANYTHING? It would be like a flea biting a lion’s arse! Oh and haven’t the Un Nationals been so quiet on this as they stand by and watch our farmers get shafted! No sign of Bonking Barnaby in sight!
Hey BASSY, you’ve either been munching on too much KFC, or you’re revealing a distinct preference to forelock-tugging.
Bassy,
What we do not know is the CCP’s interference in local politics and other aspects of life.
Morrison merely asked for an open enquiry and the CCP went of the planet.
What you are suggesting is that we just become a vassal state and do everything that they ask.
Once we start down that road, there is no turning back – that child of yours will need to learn Mandarin and by the time she is your age become use to being a second rate citizen in the country of her birth.
In the past, you have written about kicking the can down the road with debt – what you are proposing is letting future generations take the hit in extricating themselves from an iron economic grip. That is really kicking a very large can down the road.
I guess we will hear more of this as those in the Labor Party (and coalition) attempt to justify their stance of cuddling up to one of the worst regimes in the world today.
I watched bit of Four Corners last night, the one with all the former Senior Public Servants whingeing because no government took their advice about climate change, or didn’t do what they wanted or something.
I didn’t see it all, as the wife had calls with NYC and SFO coming up and she needed the room, but did anyone ask them whether they thought we would be better off if their advice was followed.
What they seemed to have wanted was some sort of ETS, and I can’t think of anywhere in the world where they have been a roaring success.
Hey Jack, I did just read that article whose link you posted earlier. Not quite sure what to make of it. The FBI may have declared QAnon a domestic terrorist threat but from what I can gather the bulk of people taking an interest in it – whatever “it” is – seem to be the kind of folks who spent inordinate amounts of time and effort trying to figure out the mysteries in ‘Lost’ or ‘who shot JR?’ rather than David Koresh, Jim Jones or Timothy McVeigh types.
The one person I was reminded of while reading is David Icke; The Pope of Fruitcakes. There’s that same drawing together of every nutso thing you ever heard into one all-encompassing narrative and I wonder if he has something to do with it, or at least acted as an inspiration. I’d go and see what David is saying about the virus if I thought my sanity could take it but need to get drunk first to cushion my synapses.
Dunno. Maybe I’m too complacent about it but until they start patrolling my part of the world with helicopters and guns on their hips threatening sanctions for being outdoors without a lawful excuse – like the Victoria Police are doing – I’ll worry more about the damage being done to our society by the authorities than by people on the steps of parliament in Spring Street who think viruses are carried on radio waves.
They are here, too and it can lead to dangerous outcomes when people believe in alternate realities and decide to take matters in to their own hands. As the author notes, these theories have been around in one shape or form for centuries but the internet speeds up the crazy astronomically. I especially liked the author alluding to the development of mad theories forming the basis of various cults and sects like the Seventh Day Adventists. You don’t think the Christchurch attack had its basis in internet based conspiracy theories? It’s almost impossible to bring these people back to reality but one thing we can do is mock them so their numbers don’t grow out of control.
Jack, regarding mad theories, cults and sects, mainstream SDA’s may meekly believe in “conditional immortality”, but I doubt they follow some of the more extreme doctrines and dispositions of a number of the animistic religions.
SDA?
Seventh Day Adventists (my apostrophe was superfluous).
Hey Bella:
Re previous. I agree. Whatever one may, or may not, think of Dr Zach Bush’s theories on the coronavirus, his dissertation on the beginning and end of life was wonderful. Very moving. Obviously a man who cares deeply for his fellow humans.
You have got to be kidding me, the poor thing might have drowned or been attacked by a shark.
https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/national/whale-stuck-in-shark-nets-off-burleigh-beach/news-story/1b15ae1ff18a3783d14e448eed6bacf2
Yep, bureaucracy gone mad, MtK. Who in their right mind would sit back and watch the poor thing suffer when they thought they could help! Good on him. A crowdfunder would pay the fine easily if he gets one.
That guy is a absolute champion!
Takes guts to do what he did but he didn’t think twice. I’m aware of an offer by Peter Whish-Wilsin to pay his maliciously ridiculous fine. 💚
All the old James Bond movies are on at the moment.
I am a sucker for them as they are a wonderful time capsule of the technology of the day -like having to use phone booths. I can also understand the dialogue unlike the modern stuff.
Anyhow Moonraker was on the other night – the plot was a multi-billionaire who was going to destroy all human life on earth, leave all other species intact and then repopulate the earth with genetically perfect people.
I am sure many believe that plots like this exist in real life.
And with the sublime acting skills of Richard Kiel as Jaws.
Have you watched ‘Archer’? Everything you get from a Bond movie, plus a lot more laughs.
Here’s an oldie but a goodie, in the spirit of being a good little citizen, nyuk, nyuk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYvdTvUcGIM
I was a bit peeved to see a young chap on TV pose the statement ” seeing we young people have obediently obeyed quarantine, at great sacrifice, to protect the elderly, why will the elderly not support climate change policies?”
Well i can affirm that at any climate change rally here (other than the solely schoolkid’s ones) there are more oldies marching and chanting etc than the younger groups.
This “them against us” mentality is unhealthy and misguided. There are plenty of young deniers out there too. You’ll find them working on the coalmines, in white collar development industries, in homes that love Morrisson, .etc – and in politics.
It’s the state and federal governments who determine policy and criticism should be directed at them.
(This should be a stand alone comment – but i put it in the wrong spot and couldn’t be bothered to redo – apologies)
Yes Boa, I share your views re that whippersnapper you refer to and his apparent disparaging accusation directed at the elderly folk. I think its a great pity that the epistemology concerning the “climate change” debate is devoid of any worthwhile retrospection. It usually degenerates into a lazy squabble between “believers” and “deniers”. The former having their heads in the clouds, while the the latter being denigrated for holding and maturely positing well-researched, fact-filled views. Of course, its now quite appropriate that AGW has largely slipped off the radar, courtesy of another more challenging and realistic global survival confrontation.
Re your assessment of our PM’s cheer squad, I’m finding it difficult to envisage a bunch of seasoned coal miners capable of being in a constant state of swooning with intense deep affection and intimacy towards a former high-flying travel agent. But then again, “love is blind”, as they say.
Did you see the Doctors who want Climate Change to be put on death certificates? They haven’t gone away, and in hibernation they’ve gotten loonier.
Yes I did, now you mention it Dwight. A fringe element one would hope. Hippocrates would be beside himself.
Someone should point out to the lad that there were 54 deaths in aged care facilities in Australia and the percent in the US is about a third. No, we’re not taking care of the oldies.