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Will this be the end of the Adolf Hitler conspiracy theories?

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Adolf Hitler is dead. That’s not really news but in the news this week, a group of French forensic pathologists led by Professor Philippe Charlier examined Hitler’s teeth and a fragment of his skull and confirmed he died in 1945.

The group’s findings were published this week revealing the teeth held no fragments of meat products. Hitler was a vegetarian. Tick. There was a bluish taint in the teeth revealing Hitler had taken cyanide prior to his death and the skull fragment revealed a bullet hole. Tick, tick.

At last now we can set aside the bizarre conspiracy theories that there is a 130-year-old monster shuffling around Paraguay.

As a child I grew up hearing so many of these theories. Hitler was still alive, it was said. He had fled to South America and was living comfortably there. Another crazy theory had Hitler escaping Germany by U-boat after which he set up camp in the North Pole.

That the greatest criminal and mass murderer of the 20th Century (not counting Stalin or Mao), perhaps the greatest bogeyman of all time was alive and kicking somewhere on the planet speaks more of conspiracy theories, how they start and how they gather momentum. It also raises the question of why so many people would prefer to believe bizarre and unlikely tales than examine hard facts and draw logical conclusions.

Charlier’s examinations confirm everything we knew to be true about Hitler’s death. He committed suicide in the bunker of the Reich chancellery and his body and the woman he had married less than 40 hours earlier, Eva Braun, were taken to ground level and incinerated in the early hours of April 30, 1945.

The charred remains of Hitler and Braun and two dogs, almost certainly Hitler’s beloved Alsatian, Blondi and her pup, Wulf, were discovered in a bomb crater outside the Reich Chancellery by the Soviet Third Shock Army under the command of Major General Maksim Purkayev on May 1.

Soviet intelligence, known by the delightful cold war acronym of SMERSH, took charge of the remains, performing autopsies on the two corpses before burying them in Berlin in an undisclosed location. The bodies were exhumed and reburied several times, the last in a location in Magdeburg in Saxony where Hitler’s and Braun’s corpses were joined in interment with those of Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels, his wife and their six children. Again the location was kept secret.

A year later, SMERSH agents recovered two skull fragments from the burial site in Magdeburg and these were dispatched to Moscow where they gathered dust in Russian State Archives and sat forgotten until their discovery during the Soviet Perestroika period some two years after Mikhail Gorbachev’s period as General Secretary of the Communist party of the Soviet Union came to an end.

The conspiracy theories that would abound decades later were inspired initially by Stalin. US President Harry S. Truman asked Stalin point blank at the Potsdam conference in July 1945 if Hitler was dead. Stalin said no despite the fact SMERSH had obtained definitive dental evidence to the contrary.

Even at the Nuremberg trials, the US was still uncertain as to Hitler’s fate. Stalin’s game was largely to confuse and confound US authorities but by the end of 1946, the verdict was in and known by all Allied authorities. Hitler was dead and died by his own hand on April 30, 1945.

Less known about Hitler in the decades following his death was the miserable drug addict he had become. His drug regime, prescribed by the unrestrained quack and charlatan, Theodor Morell, had left Hitler perilously close to a premature death. Hitler’s daily intake of methamphetamine, cocaine, and heroin may not have been enough to kill him but would take years off his life, to the point where he was a walking corpse by 1945.

Similarly, the July 20 1944 plot to assassinate him by bomb at the Wolf’s Lair had left him seriously injured and these injuries would necessarily reduce his life expectancy considerably.

Alas, these hard facts were often poorly understood or roughly ignored. It was far more exciting to believe in the fantasy that Hitler had fled Germany and was alive and kicking.

Even as recently as 2009, forensic testing of skull fragments led to further confusion and a brief revisitation of conspiracy theories when an American archaeologist and bone specialist, Nick Bellantoni, found the pieces of skull he was given were that of a woman aged less than 40.

Back then, the Guardian reported breathlessly that the “histories (sic) of Hitler’s death may need to be rewritten — and left open-ended.” What nonsense.

I don’t doubt Bellantoni’s analysis or his qualifications. It seems more likely that he was given pieces of Braun’s skull rather than Hitler’s.

Hitler is dead and he died in 1945. We know this now and really, any sensible person should have accepted the facts as they were known seven decades ago. But will this final piece of the puzzle delivered by one of the world’s leading forensic pathologists kill off the conspiracy theories once and for all? I doubt it.

This column was first published in The Australian on 25 May 2018.

321 Comments

  • Lou oTOD says:

    The conspiracy theory of the Russian sub picking up Harold Holt lives on.

    Scientific examination of the teeth of all sharks off Point Nepean has confirmed he wasnt eaten. Baby Putin remains a person of interest.

  • Milton says:

    Probably for the best that he died the way he did, he would have been teased mercilessly mincing around Ipanema in those leather shorts.

  • Jean Baptiste says:

    Charlier’s findings have caused us some discomfort here at Baptiste’s Relics, with a terse enquiry from a German client to whom we sold what we sincerely believed to be Adolph’s skull in 2003. We naturally apply rigorous standards in regard to authenticating the custodial chain in establishing provenance.
    Our Russian supplier is ruthlessly forensic in providing such information as is relevant, particularly in this case, because it was the complete skull. We have sold, from the same source hundreds of pieces of Hitler’s skull to collectors all over the world without any quibbles prior to this.

    Of course if we had known our perturbed client was an extreme right wing group we would never have let them have it. Of course we have offered to buy it back, having on the books several interested parties throughout the world willing to pay much more.

    • Henry Blofeld says:

      Bugger, but you gave me a “Certificate of Authenticity” with my purchase Mr Baptiste. I did wonder at the time as to why the Certificate was numbered “No 1345”. Cheers P.S. looks like POTUS Trump and Kimmie are back on, Trump a master tactician, the “Art of the Deal”

      • Jean Baptiste says:

        The only reason it will be back on again Henry is if the Trumpet is instructed to make sure the North and South Koreans don’t get too cosy. Great little earner the Korean division.
        And rest assured you have a genuine relic, the small size of the skull is because that is the skull of Adolf Hitler when he was 9 years old.

  • Rodent says:

    Rodent.
    Jack the Insider.
    Hear some sad periods in health you experiencing along the way. Hope the times to come for you are positive in complete recovery preying that you are in this world for the long term.
    Experiencing family brothers in doomed times ahead in short life now on them and matters of other nature.
    I wish all on the blog the best ahead and long live the blog after early times of fun myself.
    cheers all and speedy recovery JTI.

  • Huger Unson says:

    What hope for the blossoming patriot, Jack, without that undercurrent of tyrannophobia?
    I say let Brendan Nelson have as much as he wants, as long as he can project a gigantic video of Hitler in full rant onto the Opera House every week or so, just to keep us vigilant.
    Compulsory membership of teenagers in Youth Brigades would do wonders for the national spirit, too, and I hope Hastie & Molan get onto the idea.

  • BASSMAN says:

    Same story as Loch Ness Monster…money and false publicity and no such thing.

  • Penny says:

    Great piece JTI. I never heard any of these conspiracies. I do however remember the WWII song about Hitler having only one ball, but I do believe that was propaganda ( not that there is anything wrong with having one ball of course)
    What I also wasn’t aware of was Hitlers prolific drug use…..sounds like he wasn’t going to live much longer anyway.
    I still shake my head in bewilderment when I hear people espouse Hitler as a having been a great leader. That happened all the time when I worked in the Middle East…..young students of mine, predominantly male, would always name him as an example of successful and strong leadership. I also note that the Nazi salute is making a strong comeback.

  • Wissendorf says:

    The fact Eichmann lived freely in Austria for 5 years after the war doubtless gave the ‘Adolph Lives’ camp more fuel. Eichmann fled to Argentina on false papers, probably on a very crowded ship, in 1950. He lived there freely under a false name, until discovered by Mossad, snatched and imprisoned. After a trial in Jerusalem, he was hung in 1962. Dramatic movie dross like Boys from Brazil fed another round of ‘Adolph Lives’ in the late 70’s. I’m sure there will be a procession for centuries to come, of claimants to being Hitler’s cloned descendant, just as now there always seems to an illegitimate child or two who surface after the death of a famous person. I’ve lost track of how many people claimed to be Elvis descendants; probably a rate of 1 per impersonator would be about right, so around 80,000. I think DNA testing may have stemmed the tide in more recent years.

    Blues played a tough game and almost reeled the Cats in, and got to within 8 points before running out of petrol. Wayward off the boot, 15 minors would have broken a few hearts – and TV sets. Kicking is the basic skill of the game. They need a kicking coach, and some intensive drills in this basic art.

    • Jack The Insider says:

      The Blues were pretty good last night. Good intent, hard at the footy. After conceding the first four goals, they showed character to come back.

      • jack says:

        they have been a bit better, but not enough improvement for an AFL man here in HK.

        what’s worse he said, watching the Blues get belted, or standing there beer in hand and seeing Eddie, Bryce, Sam, Jarrad, Mitch, Zach, etc, get better and better each time they play.

        all spilt milk now I said, and the Tigers were masters at the bad call for years and years and recovered to win one, and the Blues have SoS in the chair and generally making good calls.

        He was slightly mollified, but grumpy with it.

        the Bombers, Giants and Saints lot have been even grumpier, they all thought this was the year for a big run. Pies and Hawks mainly pleasantly surprised.

        Gotta love footy, at least for the engagement.

        • Jack The Insider says:

          I am not unhappy with the Blues progress at all. I had hoped they might have been a bit further up the ladder but the list has a bit further to go than I had anticipated. The Blues get belted when their more experienced players are well beaten e.g. Kreuzer outpointed by Big Max two weeks ago but overall I enjoy watching the kids develop. The number 2 – Paddy Dow is going to be a ripper.

          • Dismayed says:

            1 key defender 1 key forward so the big Curnow can play a little further up the ground and another big body mid to help the big kid Cripps and Blues giants will be around the mark.

          • jack says:

            I think you are right but there are plenty of footy supporters who seem eager to embrace thoughts of disaster and impending doom, generally the same ones who think they are on a guaranteed track to the grand final after two good wins.

        • Trivalve says:

          Eddie and Bryce might want to forget yesterday’s match.

          Meanwhile the Hawks have lost three on the trot and that’s got to put a smile on your face.

  • Henry Blofeld says:

    Great read, Mr Insider, and what fascination the fate of Hitler has been for us down through the years, the waters muddied possibly by the Russians. A shocking excuse for a human being he is to be despised by all. On a lighter side though my Uncle Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who was in Argentina in the 90’s swears blind he bought a used Volkswagen off a chap bearing a remarkable resemblance to Hitler and his name was Adolf too! Seriously if Hitler ever survived Berlin, the Russians and the Israelis would have flushed him out, just as the Israelis flushed Eichmann out in Argentina returning him to Israel to face trial and execution, justly deserved imho.

  • Razor says:

    Conspiracy theories such as this and the moon landings will continue JTI no matter what the evidence. I find the story of Hitler instructive as to how a society can degenerate to such a degree so quickly. All it needs is a feeling of resentment by some, a convenient target to rally against and a charismatic leader. One would hope, in developed countries at least, it couldn’t happen today but………../

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