Psst. Anyone know where I can get my hands on some top-secret documents?
Never mind. It turns out they can be purchased in second-hand stores. Look for locked filing cabinets without keys, collapsible document files that read “Top Secret” or “AUSEO” (Australian Eyes Only), or brown paper bags marked “Cabinet-in-Confidence”.
Welcome to the thigh-slapping comedy that is the commonwealth of Australia.
Perhaps we shouldn’t be too harsh. This could be a brilliant ruse. Certainly, the Chinese will be completely confounded by it. They’ve been spending the big bucks on electronic surveillance and satellite tracking to get access to national security information when all they really needed was to drive around Canberra and do a spot of low-level antiquing.
Full column here.
Jobs at ASIO, Mr Insider, I might just apply, another “feather” in my cap so to speak. Careful folks that indoor plant may well be your humble correspondent!
https://www.asio.gov.au/careers.html
A bok choy or a wombok ?
Wombat
Putting aside the questions of who, when & why, just what sizeable corporation would lump together & file ‘secret’ documents that involve the machinations of no less than five different governments, then suddenly forget the geographical location of said cabinets?
Makes no sense but then again neither do most politicians.
Either Parliament House has for years suffered a shortage of secure file cabinets or this whole scenario has been deliberately set-up by person/persons with an agenda.
Not really. Just a case of “WTF do I do with this?”
“just put it in the miscellaneous box. Old Herbie knows where it is, and he’s got the key. If you can find him. I swear they’ll find the old bugger croaked in a storage cupboard one of these days.”
The Looters are NOT worried about national security. They are worried about being caught out politically like Morrison was. That is their main concern.
Not only the Coalition Bassy. It spans across the ALP govt too
Yes I will agree with that
Shhhh about national security Bassy lest Turncoat trots out more fearmongering to distract from anymore damaging revelations.
The Fibs forsee political gain by raising fear in the community.
That is their main concern.
We have lost control of our borders!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Highest paid bunch of losers they are B’man and they want to get into global arms dealing!
Better buy a bigger file cabinet. 📂🔐
Putin dunnit….this means war….still or again….
It was the carbon tax
now aunty has work to do….doesn’t matter of course….taxpayer$$$…plenty of
them
https://twitter.com/MrKRudd/status/958799087326892032
nasty stutter
Great piece.
Obviously Julian Assange is behind this. Hacked into Government Stores and issued instructions to the storepersons.
Better come in early on Monday Malcolm, you might just catch a glimpse of your desk sailing off down the road on the back of a truck.
This is just the beginning.
(I wonder if some entrepreneurial sorts spent a busy weekend on the photocopier before laying the goods off on the ABC? I’d be checking Ebay spooks.)
Oh excellent stuff JB, excellent stuff😂
Now there’s a thought JB.
How could one come across something like that and not take a sticky beak!
Some interesting stuff on the NBN masterplan (or should we say lack thereof) could have Conroy spluttering again.
The original NBN was far superior to what your conservative clowns have downgraded it too. In case you missed it. The mixed technology network turnbull has given the Nation is Already being over built at greater cost than the original plan. Then again you guys don’t even know how these thing work. your mate razor reckons 5G can work without fibre. He like you thinks it is all magic that happens in the air. just as well you dolts are in charge.
Oh I know how it works Gary. I have fibre straight into my lounge. Very nice.
Ah Tasmania – the “high tech” state! 😁
Not sure why you involve me in your 5G discussions with razor – I’m really not interested in 5G.
Uh uh! Different style, different syntax. I compared, Dismayed and “Gary”,
Different animal. Nice try.
Barking up the wrong tree there, I agree JB. I don’t know who Gary is, but does it really matter who anybody really is on this blog? It’s becoming tiresome and yes a bit obsessive, move on and talk about interesting stuff…..like…..oh I don’t know, how Australia is losing itself in mediocrity, lack of humour and all round nastiness from the political class. I’m starting to think older Australians are totally and utterly unaware about what is really going on in the world. My one consolation is a lot of our younger people are so aware of how foolish our generations are. Kind of funny looking from outside in at the moment. Back soon though, maybe I’ll think differently.|
If you set yourself up to be lampooned you will be, Penny.
Dismayed has gone beyond plain nasty to downright funny. I mean really, one just has to laugh. Which is good. It produces some funny retorts too.
His problem is he cannot see that and ploughs on.
How can one resist not responding to being labelled a “thing”, a pig ignorant, a FN idiot etc etc etc. Its funny! Hilarious.
I think there’s more than one of them over there
Re the original NBN, Floater do they still have that coaster, or was it a napkin?
Oh come on. The original business plan for the NBN was flawed from the start. They banked on everyone going for the high speed at higher cost – when most opted for, and were quite happy with, the slower 25mbs. They also had planned to take fibre to every single front door. Having experienced what was involved in doing that to my property it became obvious to me that it was an impossible target. The fourth and last consultant to visit was from Telstra. He connected me to the network.. He agreed with my comment at the time. And not everyone wanted the NBN anyway. It was a disaster from Day 1.
Turnbull was landed with a disaster which had to be recovered somehow. They were in too deep by then. Not all his fault, chum.
One of the greatest scenes from one of the greatest movies of all time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46h7oP9eiBk
Classic JB. I’ve watched that movie at least 3 times.
Frances McDormand currently in 3 Billboards outside Epping – it was another of her good roles .
The last few sentences of that clip are about as perfect as it gets.
Fantastic. Bloody funny.It’s still one of my favourites. Great caste .
Agree the ending is one of the best. Shouldn’t laugh really – it probably does happen 😎
Epping?😂
Another great movie, Tracy!
Three Billboards is an excellent movie.
It really highlights the absurdity and dangers of single-issue-people.
As you write in your full column, Mr Insider, “Let’s not forget, someone working for the commonwealth at some point discarded them.” Now not taking into account the full comedic mess this is, surely in this day and age with all the checks and balances, governance of control, etc , we the innocent Public, should feel safe and secure knowing all classified information’s are indeed safe and protected. Possibly may I tongue in cheek suggest the culprit, when found, receive 100 lashes with the Cat O Nine Tails alongside his Department Head who should get a Bonus 100 for total incompetence. Then all repair to the local for some drinks and a knees up Mother Brown!
You couldn’t make up this stuff.
Straight out of Utopia!
Balderdash Blofeld. Punish the perpetrators, be damned. They should be awarded OAM’s for services to the Australian Public, even if it is innocently accidental? . Shouldn’t we know what these bastards are saying behind those sleazy smiles and soft soap?
It’s all splendid stuff.
Quoting Tony Burke re Feeney on the RN Drive program rhis evening:
“He spent the whole of the Summer looking for his renunciation”
On his taxayer salary with all the perks of course .
Jesus, I hope the Greens smash this one. At least Joyce and Alexander had the integrity to resign and face their electorates. And got back in, in spades. The same will not happen to Feeney. I’ll put my house on it.
A brave prediction, Boadicea.
I’ll let you in on a little-known fact – a peculiar quirk of our electoral system is that it’s unlikely Feeney will get elected if he doesn’t run.
Probably should have made that the seat of Batman TO. I’ll stand by my prediction though.
I think, in this particular case, that the voters of that electorate are so pissed off and let down, embarrassed even, by Mr Feeney that they’ll vote in the Greens, as punishment if nothing else.
wow what foresight after a swing to the greens of 11% last time. somebody give Yvonne a prize. Yvonne may get this one right then again she is right less often than a broken clock. No surprises.
So where is this house?
Lovely water views of the Derwent JB. I hope the Greens do get it – woukdnt like to have to move ☹
Actually Shorten hasn’t had the best week. Albo snapping at his heels – and gosh, all of a sudden he’s going on about Adani. Now why would that be I wonder.?
“Lovely” Well maybe, but of course they are water views, it’s a bloody river.
Shorten has had an epiphany, that’s all.
“If you are through changing then you are through”.
Emile Gustav Baptiste.
One of many epihanies, JB, depending on the issue du jour.
If you’re ever down this way, JB I’ll shout you a nice Tassie whiskey/wine/gin – cup of tea even – and you can admire the views for yourself. We can even do a brisk hike up Mt Wellington if you’d like.
Off season though – too many pesky tourists swamping the place right now.
That goes for anyone here.😊
Because stopping Adani has become make or break for Labor Boadicea.
A promise made by the Qld Premier to veto the NAIF loan has huge nationwide repurcussions if Labor don’t honour it now. Adani fudged environmental impact figures too it’s been revealed so Labor must shut down the project if they’re serious about protecting the Galilee Basin and the GBR. #STOP ADANI
Sure has, Bella. The man just irritates me with his chameleon-like changes to suit the occasion. I don’t like him or trust him. If it suited his ambitions to support Adani I have no doubt that he would.
I hope the Greens smash it in Batman . 💣💥
Feeney a shocker in all ways imho Boadicea how on earth do wallys like this ever get into Parliament I do ask! Cheers
Aussie Sam Dismayed us all by raking in the cash over the summer as well Boa.
Robb, stuart Robert the cons list of scabs goes on and on. I think you have overtaken carl and milton as the biggest oxygen thief. Then again it has been clear for years you suffer from hypoxia. No surprises.
Time for an update on the Oxygen Thief ratings Dismayed.
Give ’em heaps.
I didn’t make the list. Goodness me.
Mind you, we have lots and lots of lovely oxygen down here – purest in the land – I’ll just never manage to use it up. 😥
There’s a photo in the Age that has one bloke wheeling the cabinet files and another bloke nearby. Both have their heads covered over with a big black circle and the assistant has another smaller black circle where his belly button should be. What’s going on there?
ASIO agents cannot be identified not even their bellies (might be a tattoo or just a slip of the mouse in Photoshop.
ASIO agents have two tattoo’s. One is the all seeing eye around their navel and the other one is a small rose with the stem coming out of the rectum. What happens under the rose stays under the rose.
Ah! The single stemmed blood red rose up the clacker joke!
“Oh come on Doctor , read the card!”
Dismayed actually owned the Tattoo parlour in Canberra where the newly inducted spies got the Tattoos done. They ended up giving him the flick because he kept putting his nose in where it wasn’t wanted.
Security pass. I should have put it in my pocket.
Look more closely. He has his ID on a lanyard around his neck. The second blot covers the badge.
Cupboard Boy will be fuming. There goes the street value of half his stock.
Just been to see The Post – story of the Washington Post’s decision to publish the Pentagon Papers.
Very good movie – Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks excellent. Nice to see a good old-fashioned newsrun in action too.
Katharine Graham – now there’s a woman who could give lessons on how to cut it in a man’s world!
Makes our Cabinet Files look trifling really when compared to what was at stake then. 10% to help S Vietnam, 20% to hold back the Communists and 70% too avoid the humiliation of the P0TUS with the defeat.
Just appalling.
Not a bad movie, although I found it a bit slow at times.
I really enjoyed watching the old-fashioned typesetting stuff, TO – and the going to print scenes.. Those were the days when editors were editors even with tight deadlines. . Nowadays one sees so many spelling and grammatical errors with digital versions being rushed in, obviously unchecked, on this 24/7 media circus. A pity.
The movie seems to have stuck very close to actual events too.
Graham would look at WaPo under Bezos and just shudder.
Indeed, Dwight.
Impressive woman and a brave decision from her.
Yeah and I wonder what would happen to the players these days.
Interesting isn’t it? She would have probably just published the cabinet files!
Golly just had another dose – watched Frost /Nixon tonight.
Yeah, Dwight, liberal media outlets aren’t a patch on the likes on Fox (particularly Sean Hannity), Breitbart and Infowars, which tell it like it is, eh?
PS: Watch out for the “deep state”, too!
PPS: Good on Jeff Bezos for maintaining the integrity of the Post in the face of attacks from a thin-skinned demagogue of a POTUS.
Ooh, you iconoclast!