I’ve said it many times before. Australia is the best damned country in the world with the exception of some island nations in the Caribbean with some very liberal banking laws.
For all that Australia can be a confusing place, especially for Australians. There are three tiers of government, all pretty much worthless and in various stages of decrepitude shuffling between inertia, chaos all the way along to abject failure. We have a corporate world blagging its way around a laughably cobbled together regulatory system while trying not to snigger too much. There’s a mutant media that routinely crucifies people, more often that not for no apparent good reason and a taxation system that, frankly, I gave up on a long time ago.
Last week the Turnbull government announced a range of changes to the 457 visa scheme and rounded it off with tightening requirements for citizenship. At a presser and then again in an interview with Leigh Sales on the ABC, our Prime Minister, resplendent in an electric blue suit, equivocated in response to what were some fairly mild inquiries on his thoughts on Australian-ness and what he considered might be Australian values.
Full column here.
Good stuff as always Jack.
I long for a time when we could laugh at ourselves, and others, without wondering about the consequences. In so many ways we’re better off than forty years ago, and in many ways we are so much poorer.
I recon you only get so many steps in life, which is why I never ran after a modest career in footy and cricket. At least on the squash court you could be knackered without leaving a small bunker that Sadam would have been at home in. Our warm down therapy was a carton of beer, a bucket of KFC, a packet of smokes and a late night game of stud poker. Try putting that out now as being Australian!
fuck Australia as it is…..young-uns·leave!
OMG smoke the “F” word I do see how Aussie.
Great column over the wall on values….CORRECT Jack…as U say no one knows…why? Because they are changing all of the time. Hugh McKay says the4 same thing. We used to accept refugees with open arms for example…now we bomb their homes and then lock them up behind barbed wire. Kids and all. Then we use them as election fodder.
Other Aussie values:-
1. It’s a girl..today 7lb11oz!!!! A sister for 5yr old bro.
2. Two days prior, the bride passed the citizenship test…she is an Aussie…scored 95%
Trick question on the Aboriginal Flag. They asked the colours of the Torres Island Flag.
She (along with everybody else) picked the red, black and yellow.
3. SOUTHS:-a total slaughter. Spoilt my great week
Congrats Bassy, you old devil…
Re the TSI flag – am I the only one who thinks it’s a rear view of a fat bastard bending over?
Often thought it, never said it out loud.
Congratulations, you old horn-dog!
Congrats to you all, Bassman.
And the correct answer is blue, green, black and white (but only cause I spent two years up there).
There you are. I wonder how many Australian citizens would have got that one. I didn’t even know there was a Torres Island flag. Can you lose your citizenship for failing the test? I could be in trouble.
congrats on the daughter
Congrats Bassy on your bub, always a wonderful occasion.
Prepare for much cuddling and much broken sleep. xx Bella
Souths & Cowboys both hammered mate. Sad cafe.
If JT risks more injury playing for the Kangaroos he won’t be doing the club any favours cos they’re stuffed without him right now.
Congrats, you old dawg.
Yep not bad for a 70yr old…just made it!!
Another successful project Bassy, congrats to you both. You’ll need to hang a sign round your neck while walking the babe, saying “yep she’s mine alright”.
A double whammy with your wife now Austrayan. Does she still ask you what the heck we Aussies are talking about some times?
Congrats Bassy, what wonderful news. I got the question on the TSI flag, but only because like TBLS I have had a bit to do with TSI’s.Now we should all leave you alone and let you get some sleep.
When she came out of the test and told me the flag question she expected me to know the answer. I didn’t have a clue. She told me I should be ashamed of myself. Gulp! So I tried it on a few educated mates…no one knew the answer.
Thanks all of U people who offered congrats. Wife and kid (7lb.11oz) are doing fine. Medicare is a great system…2 gynees, 2 midwifes and 2 nurses. No charge…only my taxes. My mate in the USA told me it cost him $26k in medical expenses to have his son. And that was some years back.
He coulda got a new bathroom for that!
And if you were in the UK, the midwife would have made use of it.
I must add my congrats to the pile Bassy. Well done! Time to tie a tourniquet on it perhaps? Enjoy the bub.
Yes, I agree – the medical services offered by Medicare here are fantastic. We should not complain.
I love it when Manly roast bunny.
Congratulations on the bubsa.
I am thinking of taking my Souths sticker off the back of our car! Sigh!
Would you like a Manly sticker in its place😂
AGGGGGHHHHHH I knew U wld say Dat.I just KNEW IT!!
Watch the new Maigret series with Mr bean in it…WOW fantastic!!
Congratulations, you old Bassman! Jennifer sends her best, too.
Congratulation Bassy.
I hope she quickly sleeps right through the night – I am not too sure we are ready for a grumpy tired Dad contributing to the blog at 3:00am in the morning. 🙂
Sorry to be tardy Bass, but hearty congratulations. Well done!
Congratulations young man. Best wishes to you, your beloved and your new arrival. Good to hear all are well. Has your son seen his sister yet?
Exactly Gryzly. We are visiting this great brown land once again and what has struck me is how great it is to be able to talk Strine, laugh at stuff that we all understand and note that people get on with each other. No-one likes politicians, nor the guvment either federal, state or local and sittting here in Coober Pedy at the moment I hear so many different languages being spoken it makes me proud that we are such a diverse country.
Australian values are what we hold dear, but they are personal and should never be used as a political tool
That diversity is a bit of a double edged sword Penny.
I have seen reports about schools in Western Sydney where there are 20 or so kids from different ethic backgrounds are in the same class room..
I often wonder where they get their “Australian” traits from.
Attempting to articulate some basic values is not a bad thing.
I had no idea that TSI’s had their own flag and for the life of me can not see what that has to do with being a good citizen. I think it is a PC type of question.
Where do you get the material that people have to study to sit for this test?
Answer to my question
http://www.border.gov.au/Trav/Citi/pathways-processes/Citizenship-test#
In the interests of Jobs & Growth, “Cash up, no tick” is the national motto.
What’s the going rate to get a bathroom reno started? $5k last time I was silly enough to ask.
Double that now, HU and add another five.
You’re kidding Jack.
Your estimate and double it again if you want taps, a sink, decent shower without the bidet, and the brassco of course. Oh, and the toilet roll holder.
I recently had to replace a ceiling shower head, you know the type that greenies hate but make you feel like you are in a rain forest. A lazy grand for starters.
We did the onsweet and the main ten years ago. 11k for the onsweet and about 30k for the main, which included a lot of concrete cutting and remodelling. I was not happy btw; it’s an exxy business.
Ensuite?
Had one done and the shower always was slow to drain. It caused all sorts of problems down the track.
I finally crawled under the house and took the u bend off – it was half full of concrete – which I am told is not an unusual problem.
No change out of $25k – and that is without any major alterations.
around 20-25 in inner sydney, for a first floor bathroom, if there any complications, and, trust me on this, there always are.
If your house is heritage listed, forget it now. Sell it. Even if you lose money on the sale it is less than the money you will spend renovating it. I know from bitter experience the cost and hassle of heritage renovations, and it isn’t worth it. I bought a house to renovate and live in, and as the vendor didn’t have to disclose the heritage listing, they didn’t. Neither did the agent until had signed the contract. I had to get DE&H approval for everything. I had to pay for a Project Officer from the Department to approve everything, even the type, colour and thickness of the paint. I had to use a department approved architect. And a department approved every other bloody thing. Then things got really bad.
The house had been the stablehands quarters for a historic Brisbane house called LaTrobe. It’s a sandstone mansion at the other end of the street. The house is 300m from the ‘Gabba. While digging the foundations for an extension at the back of the house the builders unearthed brickwork and cobblestones of the former blacksmith’s forge and all work stopped until a team of archaeologists from the uni conducted a dig. It took nine months. Nine months of bewhiskered academics digging up my yard with teaspoons and paintbrushes, and muttering learnedly about ‘good archaeology’. I don’t know what would constitute bad archaeology. They never told me what they found.
Eleven years later I sold the place and broke even. And no, I didn’t tell the buyer it was heritage listed. Nor did the agent.
For once maybe someone will call me “sir” without adding “you’re making a scene.”
Homer.
i get Sir here a fair bit, but it is never respectful, well not really.
Mr Jack, which i get a lot, seems to be, but who knows.
i have finally persuaded the security guys downstairs to drop the Mister, and they delight in addressing me as Jack,
Mind you, i have taught them much more English than they have taught me Canto.
Keener students i guess.
Used to have to visit Melbourne frequently and stayed at a Japanese hotel on Little Collins. Staff always called me “Mr. Dwight”. Nice place, great people.
I also get “Sir” from the respectful students who are too scared to attempt pronunciation of my name. I’ve had to tell one or two that “Hey, Eccles” is not really appropriate.
The very first stroke of luck imho all of us born here in Australia, as me, have had, Mr insider, is just that to be born Australian. My 2nd choice would be American.
JtI
Jack, I had a squiz at your complete colum over the wall. It’s a beauty!
I reckon you’d be flat out beating the sincerity and concern contained in one of the essential unwritten Aussie greeting statutes of ‘giddayowyahgoinmate’ as being the most profound, concise and complete enquiry as to one’s health, wealth and stealth anywhere else in the world bare none.
Works for me, mate.
Great read all, Mr Insider, and how complex are the times we live in now. I seem to remember a simpler time in the 70’s when we chanted “Football, Meat Pies, Kangaroos and Holden Cars”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjgSesvHoKc
Show your true blue, dinky di, riding on a sheeps back, no worries, she’ll be right, ok cobber, Laura Norder, avagoowegend, f&*k yea values and get ya bloody foodee tips in.